Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
