My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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