ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
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