is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize