Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
