Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My vagina just recognized that song.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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