You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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