either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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