now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
