I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
