FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.