This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
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Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
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I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...