The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live