Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
