...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
