please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
