Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
