My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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