butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
