I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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