I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
