And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
