I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
only you would photoshop your dick
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
