He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
