great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my being single is dangerous.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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