Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Fuck appropriateness.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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