And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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