I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
