who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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