I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
