I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
