While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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