Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
