clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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