dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
