STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
