i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
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