the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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