if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
this is an emotional support booty call
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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