If i need to get strippers involved i will.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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