angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
