just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
