Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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