Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
