hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
