I wish I could teleport
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
