She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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