I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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