just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
