Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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