She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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