I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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