plz talk dirty to me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
