your thong is hanging out like whoa
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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