So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Randomize
