im about as happy as oj after his trial
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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