just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
wow bdsm is so cute
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
