You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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