just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
